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Seeking balance.
Dying but being reborn.
Holding on but letting go.
Learning but teaching too.
Rooted but reaching.
Sometimes I don’t write because I get stuck in one extreme or the other instead of staying in the flow of life and The Spirit. But not today. Today I choose to write in the middle of all that I don’t know and all that I do.
Listening to a podcast on the book of Hebrews this morning, pulled some things together for me that I had not been making a connection between.
The premise, in case you don’t know, is that Hebrews is a letter written to Jewish Christians who were being pressured to leave their newfound faith in Jesus and return to the rigors of life under the law. That is a VERY simple description but will suffice for this context.
The unknown author of the letter is basically saying,
“Why in the world would you leave the FULLNESS and FULFILLMENT you’ve found in Christ for ANYTHING you left behind?!?!” He then goes on to deep dive into how the central thoughts and theologies of the Jewish faith were all but shadows and only in existence because of the light of Jesus Who was to come.
This made me think about what in the world would make them fight so hard to stay in that old way when the beauty and freedom of Jesus were RIGHT in front of them?! I found myself echoing the author’s dismay at such a letter even needing to be written!
But that didn’t last long…
Put a pin in that paragraph for a minute.
If you stay with me and I promise we will circle back around! 🙂
The first thing that jarred me out of my judgment was remembering a scene from The Chosen. The one where Jesus read the scriptures in the temple meeting and revealed that He was The Son of God.
The authors and actors in that series have done such a great job of showing the human connection Jesus had to have had with His disciples that, seeing their reaction broke my heart. Especially those that were not yet ready to publically follow Him but KNEW He was indeed The Messiah. I remember crying during that scene, but also being ANGRY!
As my anger grew as I watched those pompous priests, full of pride, greed, and lust for power and place, I was QUICKLY (like whiplash-causing quickly) convicted by a question from the Holy Spirit.
“How can you be so sure you would not have been one of them?”
WHAT?!?!?!?!?! That one stung! Because when God asks me a question, I know it isn’t because He doesn’t know the answer and ALWAYS because answering it will bring me out of my flesh and into His Spirit.
In my quest to answer Him, I began asking questions of my own starting with:
How could they NOT see that Jesus was the fulfillment of EVERYTHING they had devoted their entire lives to knowing inside and out?
The answer I found is sadly still prevalent today.
You see, as they studied, memorized, and protected every “jot and tittle” of the Law of Moses, they also began to form an undue attachment to it as well as opinions about how its fulfillment would look. So, when Jesus showed up, they were blinded by their own sense of importance and their own opinions that they could not see what was right in front of them.
EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW THE SIGNS AND PROPHECIES BETTER THAN ANYONE!!!
Needless to say, but I will anyway 🙂 this made me pause the podcast and pray!
If they, the fathers of the faith, the people God Himself chose to champion the beliefs I now carry, could become so deceived and blinded, how much more so I?!? May it never be!!!
So, I continue the questions…
How do I keep out of my own way?
How do I manage to do the things in the opening lines of this blog without getting over into either extreme?
How do I live like Jesus did?
One of the things I love about Papa, is His willingness to answer and give wisdom as He promised. Asking is all that is required. How amazingly generous He is!
Immediately He brought to mind a picture He has had on repeat in my head for months now.
It is similar to the one I used for the blog.
An open hand.
In ways too numerous to list them all, He has been speaking to me through this image:
* How I can hold much more with open, splayed-out hands than with closed ones
* How this simple posture indicates where my faith lies
* How I can use it to figure out what things I am willing to leave in His care and which ones I
foolishly believe I can do a better job with
The list goes on and on.
This image and the understanding of expectations and self importance bring me a deeper knowledge of Isaiah 55 where He states the obvious,
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.”
Then I remember Hebrews 4,
12 “For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword,
even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit,
of both joints and marrow,
and able to [e]judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.Â
13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him to whom [f]we must answer.”
And He whispers, “I’ve got you! I know you, Kara. I chose all your parts and I love your questions even if they get on other people’s nerves. 🙂 Keep reaching with open hands and when you want to close them, I will help you figure out why.”
And He does.
Every. Single. Time.
So, let’s close the circle we started at the top…
“How could they, how do I become blinded and decieved?”
I close my hands.
I hold too tightly to anything but Jesus and my relationship with The 3.
I stop asking questions that I sincerely want the answers to.
I leave that sword in its sheath.
Since it’s a fact that we gravitate toward what we focus on, I want to end with what I GET to do instead of what not to do:
I get to trust God to balance all the things I need on my OPEN hands! I don’t even have to worry about keeping it all!!! HALLELUJAH!! If something falls away, I can trust that I don’t need it any longer OR it needs to be gone for a time!
I get to live in the freedom of knowing that I am KNOWN! Every hair on my head is numbered and all the tears I’ve cried, He has caught!
I get to give, love, and just BE, knowing that my faith is in Someone and Something that is separate and apart from me! That that “Something” and its goodness, truth, and relevancy doesn’t change because of the mistakes I make. Endless grace, compassion, and forgiveness cover all my learning curves!
Thank you, Jesus!!!
I trust that You will see to it that I always have eyes that see and ears that hear!
Beautifully written. I love the way you write about our Heavenly PaPa.
I love the way you wrote about our Heavenly Papa.