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(This is something I wrote back in May of 2011. It’s been on my mind since I wrote ‘Bedrock’ yesterday. I suppose Papa has been talking to me in terms of foundations for quite some time…I’m listening now.)
A storm came, our house fell.
Hopes and dreams buried so fast beneath hurtful truths found out rather
than told…
You think you are grieving what was lost but in reality you are just trying to
find a better way than anger to deal with the heartbreak.
A visit, a trigger, and the stones begin to turn over, revealing the forgotten
dreams, the buried hopes…
NOW the grieving has begun. Those dreams, hopes and desires are still
alive under the wreckage of their improper burial. They wait. To be found.
To be buried again, only this time with your consent and the honor due
them…for they were good dreams, pure desires and righteous hopes…they
deserve it.
So I dig…
Past the rubble of anger and rage
Through the wreckage of hurt and heartbreak
Beneath the twisted debris of lies and half-truths
To find the dreams and hopes that belonged to ME!
I fight to free them from what I have let them become. They were worth
fighting for, even if you didn’t think so. I CHOSE them, even if you didn’t.
I dig until my fingers bleed to loosen the grip of loss that clings to my
hopes, hopes I gave my ALL to.
And though I toil only to bring them to another grave, it is worth all the
effort. I know it is because He aides my quarry and strengthens my arms.
For they were good dreams, pure desires and righteous hopes.
Graveside, I lament what should have been; I grieve the people we chose
not to be; I deplore being fooled. I bemoan the promises broken and the
ones never meant from the beginning. I linger here until there is no grief
left in me…only thankfulness. For they were good dreams, pure desires
and righteous hopes and I was thankful for them once.
Though laid to rest now, I know I will see traces of these dreams again: In
their eyes, when they miss you. In their voices, when they cry for you. In
their efforts to capture your attention. So, though they had to die to me, I
pray they live on, in some form FOR THEM…for they were good dreams,
pure desires and righteous hopes.
I leave here different than I arrived.
My heart is one more process closer to whole.
My grip is tighter on the Hand that leads me.
Thankfulness is lighter to bear than grief.
I am more free than I was yesterday.
Prov 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree
of life.
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